Day 25 of 31 Days of Chasing THE Light

Releasing Light

“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise – the fruit of lips that openly profess His name.”  ~Hebrews 13:15 (NIV)

I wake up in the morning and roll out of bed knowing that today is the day we find out. My fists are clenched and I try to just breathe and not worry. To trust that it will all be ok no matter what.

I don’t “do” waiting well and then when the day finally comes – I don’t “do” trusting that it will all be okay, no matter what – well either.

I walk to the kitchen in a daze, grab my coffee cup and a K-cup and push brew. I tell myself to just breathe and let go and Let God.  That He has this…He has her. I have to wait all day to find out if we are celebrating the news or planning our attack.

Unfortunately, when I am consumed with fear and worry – I lash out at my people. I don’t mean to. I don’t want to. I’m told that it’s in my genes to worry. (What comes with lack of height makes up for in LOADS of worry genes.) So, I try really hard to pause before speaking.

 

Clenching and clinging to worry can choke the life right out of me. Loosening my grip and opening my hands to what is – will bring hope, joy and RELEASE!

I think about fireflies in the summer nights…and how as kids we would catch these little things and put them in jars. Trap them and poke little tiny holes in their new homes. Hoping that they would light for us in the jar…but often times they wouldn’t.  They would just crawl around in the jar looking for a way out. Maybe they didn’t light because they were afraid? As soon as we’d open the jar and release them they’d light up all over the yard again. Like they were saying, “Thank you, it’s good to be free!”

This is kind of how it feels to let go of fear and worry. But to let go of these emotions is so hard for me to do sometimes.  You see, I am a get it done kinda girl. I feel like if I just do it – I can get it done better. If I know where all the holes are in my road – I can avoid them myself. If I just clean up the toys – it will be done the way I want. If I clean up the dishes – it will be done the way I think it should be. I have a hard time letting go and letting God. BUT – when I finally RELEASE this feeling – it’s like being set free out of a tight space. Fear can choke the life right out of me. 

 

Fear screams but God whispers.

So to release – I take a deep breath, unclench my fists, slowly open my hands, look to Jesus and say, “I give it all to you. Whatever the end result…I trust you with it. It may not be the answer I want but I believe You will work everything to Your good and we will find joy, hope and peace in You.”

Around 4:00pm – I get the news and it’s what we prayed for. It’s the lid of the jar opening and all the clenching and clinging being released into the air while His light shines for us to see. His light was always shining in the midst of this storm – I was just too blind with fear to see it. I only focused on being trapped in the jar with my fear that I never even looked for the light in the storm. I never even saw His light shining through those little air holes in the lid. 

Look for the light today. In the hard times and in the easy times…never stop looking. His Light is always there shining for you. And when you see His light – maybe – just maybe – you can be the light releasing for someone else.

 

 

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